| I need input. A lot of input. Please help me. |
[27 Jul 2007|05:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Look Alive" - Incubus |
] |
Okay. Lately I have been getting overwhelmed with bills and lonlieness. Living by myself is so much fun. I love having my own place. However, my student loan lenders now need two payments a month. I haven't made my electric bill in almost two months. [Thank goodness my dad has helped me on that.] The point is, I'm overwhelmed. Last night my mom made me go to dinner with her. She said that I am welcome to move back in to my parents house. She kept bringing it up and telling me that I really need to think about it. So I did. I made a list of Pros & Cons.
I need some help. If you guys can think of any more pros & cons, add them to my list. Or if you have any advice/stories to share, I would appreciate it so much. I'm really scared/torn/unsure. I've moved 4 times in the last four years so I need to be 100% sure before I move. I really need some outsiders' opinions. PLZ PLZ PLZ give me some input!
Please help me, you guys!! Seriously.
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2007|12:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Anna Molly - Incubus |
] |
Something to miss: I'm watching Friends & it makes me meez Brittany Kay about 203840283 x more than usual. Every time I laugh I wish I could look over & we'd be like LOL together. But she is in Michigan until Friday. Oh, how sad I am!
Something to be proud of: I actually wrote my causal analysis for English on time. & tonight it will be turned in ON TIME. YEAH BOIIIIII. I turned every paper in on time except for my last big one so I was determined to turn this one in, in a timely fashion. And I will.
Something to work on: My next big paper. It's due in a week and a half. It's an argument paper & honestly, I'm not sure what to write about. I thought about divorce, but I think that may hit home too much. If anyone has any ideas for an argument paper that would be easy to find sources for... I would appreciate it!
Something to be happy about: I had an extra $20 after I paid some bills, bought Incubus VIP tix, and put gas in my car, so I got to buy toilet paper, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and a lovely vanilla candle. My whole house smells like icing. It's quite delightful.
Something to scream about: I GOT INCUBUS VIP TICKETS FROM THE MYF AUCTIONS!!! BRITTANY & I GET TO MEET THE ENTIRE BAND!!!
That means Brandon [again], Mikey, Jose, Kilmore, & Ben. All of them. Together. With me. & Britt.
Something to plan: WTF am I going to say to each of these men who have had a huge impact on my life? Since I clammed up when I met Brandon, I must plan & memorize something to say to all of them. & I don't want it to be like "OMG YEW GuYZ R sEEEw hAAAwT!" It's got to be something funny and unique, yes? *sigh* So much to think about.
Something to save & look forward to: I messaged my tattoo artist friend with pictures and info about the 2 tattoos I want. He's going to price them for me so I can start saving. I'm excited!!!
|
|
| Fucking Instant Messaging. |
[17 Jun 2007|06:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Get the Party Started (Sweet Dreams Remix)" - Pink |
] |
Here's the deal.
I am highly annoyed right now.
If I am online, that means that I am ready & waiting for one of my buddies to get online & talk to me. Or there is someone online that I would like to talk to. Obv, otherwise why would I be online, right?
Why am I annoyed?
I dislike when I am online & talking to someone that:
a) takes 2983872 minutes to answer a simple question.
b) makes no attempt to carry on conversation.
c) says "uh huh" or "mmhmm" when I say something.
If you are bored with who you are talking to online... GET OFFLINE. If you don't want to talk to someone online... GET OFFLINE. If you are not in the mood to talk to people, why the fuck would you sign on? ARGH. People annoy me. I feel like I'm pulling teeth to get this person to talk. I'm not even going to initiate conversation anymore. & if they do & still don't talk, I'm going to say, "Okay, here's how it is, don't IM me unless you wish to pay some attention to me, okay? Because I'm not in the mood to be ignored. KTHX."
Does anyone else have this problem? :(
|
|
|
[14 Jun 2007|06:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Crying. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Green Eyes |
] |
I wonder how many times I have sat in this computer chair, crying. Listening to music, staring at the wall, crying.
When I tried to commit suicide, it was at this desk.
I lined up my little pill bottles.
Opened them one at a time and threw them back like a shot.
Then I turned around & said "I just took a bunch of pills."
& he said "What did you do that for?"
"Why do you think?" Then I crawled on the bed and cried some more.
Why did I do that? It seriously doesn't even feel like it was me.
& I remember calling my mom & Mandy.
& walking to the hospital in the really hot sun.
& feeling shakey.
& when my mom showed up she looked scared. & hurt.
& I knew I had done that.
Even me feeling sorry for myself fucks things up.
I want to know what is in me that makes me this way.
Other people have been through shit that is 9283742 times worse & they can still stand strong.
When shit happens to me, I break down.
I've cried in this chair so many fucking times.
If this computer could talk, it would have a lot of stories.
And the things that have happened to me are all my fault.
School, it's all me. My decision to leave. Both times.
It's my fault that I can't get financial aide, even if they would give it to me.
Marriage, yep. I'm the one who had him move out. I wanted the divorce.
If I would have snapped out of it, I would have seen that I tore us apart.
My weight is all me, as well.
But I still can't not feel sorry for myself.
This is a depressing entry about pretty much nothing.
But damn. This poor computer.
It's been through a lot with me.
|
|
|
[12 Jun 2007|12:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Tired. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Burning Bright" - Shinedown |
] |
I steal everything from Brittany. :D
1. Open your Winamp/iTunes.
2. Put the shuffle-mode on.
3. Find a picture of the first 20 artists. If the same artist comes again, skip.
4. Have your friends guess who the artists are.
YAY. I hope this cut things works lol.
GUESS AWAY!!!
|
|
| I LOVE GAMES!! |
[11 Jun 2007|04:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Love Hurts" - Incubus |
] |
The letter 'B' brought to you by Brittany Kay. If you want to play comment & I'll give you a letter. & then you post 7 songs with that letter that you love. DO IT!
1. "Bye Bye Bye" - Nsync.
2. "Brighter Than Sunshine" - Aqualung
3. "Brick" - Ben Folds Five [Ooohhh, good one, me!]
4. "Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson
5. "Bohemian Rhapsody" - Queen
6. "Blood on the Ground" - Incubus
7. "Bathe In My Snot" - Incubus
Plz play the game. Tis fun.
& thought of about 2938492837 more songs lol.
|
|
| Nerves. |
[11 Jun 2007|03:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Certain Shade of Green - Incubus |
] |
I start my new job in 35 minutes. [Good thing I live five minutes away, huh?] I'm nervous. I'm always nervous when I start a new job but the last three jobs I've started have been essentially the same job. Just a different place with different patients. Now I'm going from taking care of old people & doing their laundry to working in a stock room. Quite a bit of difference, yes?
The only thing I can think of to get myself pumped is to listen to "A Certain Shade of Green" a million times, while dancing & screaming the words. Also, this sounds ridiculous, but I have to talk to myself positively. Things like "I'm going to be fine. I'm going to do an awesome job." Because if I do that than I can't freak out on the inside of my head. Does that make any sense or does it just make me sound crazy? Anyway, I'm nervous. I don't think I'm good at meeting people. I envy those that can start conversation with nothing to go on. I can't do that. I say ridiculous things. Or I don't say anything at all. Meeting BB was the perfect example. "Picture, picture, picture...." *remains silent for five days* I really don't understand what my problem is.
I'm already shaking. It's either nerves or my blood sugar. I'm gonna go with nerves because I just ate.
Well, off to work I go. Wish me luck. *cranks ACSOG*
Love.
|
|
| Living in a material world. [Guilt.] |
[08 Jun 2007|06:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Plankton. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Girl" - Ben Kenney |
] |
I have been unemployed for almost a whole month now. Every time I go shopping with my family or friends, it saddens me to see all of these wonderful material things that I would love to have in my life. Even when I have a job, I usually hate to go shopping but I guess the lack of shopping for the last couple years has caught up with me. So, I am going to form a little wish list. They will be things that I will save up for and eventually buy. And by eventually, I mean a long, long time from now because I have to pay back what I've borrowed this past month & catch up on bills, etc. I thought I would share my list with you.
Tattooz. There are two things that I want and I already know where I want them.
Crows. The duo of crows from the ACLOTM album on my foot/ankle. I need to figure out what I want to put in between them, though.
BB's Flowa. That's right. I'm still in love with the flower from White Fluffy Clouds. It's going on my calf.
iPOD. I know it's trendy & ridiculous but oh, how I would love it. My car CD player hates me.
Clothes. I'm not big on fashion. My clothes are mostly tshirts, capris, tank tops. I never dress up. I'd like to fancy-up my wardrobe a little bit. I'd like to incorporate more feminine things. & perhaps more accessories. I have no jewelry whatsoever.
Tank tops. There are some freaking awesome tank tops at Lane Bryant that I fell in love with.
MCR shirt. @ Hot Topic.
Incubus shirt. Who could've seen this one coming? lol. There are many. We'll just leave it at that.
Reds. I also need a lot of red shirts for work.
Jeans. I would like some jeans that are girly.
Underoos. I have a lot of undies but they are all various years old lol. Also, I only have 2 bras now. Not a good time.
Shoes. I have giant feet and it is SUPER difficult to find girly shoes in my size. I need to find some nice, basic dress shoes, and a really nice pair of walking shoes. [I wear 13 in women's, 12 in men's.]
Bag. There is a bag at Hot Topic that matches the cute new wallet that my sister bought me. It's adorable & I'd like to have it.
Ben Kenney. Yes, it would be terrific to have the man but I was referring to his albums. The songs on his myspace are amazing and I desire those CDs VERY much.
Candles. I know it seems weird that I would have to save up for candles but at the end of the day when I have to choose between eating for a few days and a nice scent, it's obviously the food. It's a luxury that I've learned to live without, but I'd love to buy a new stock of candles lol.
Vet. This is not a material thing. In fact, I try not to think about material things much because I know I can't have them. This list is somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me. But anywho. I'd like to be able to take my childcats into the vet regularly. They are spoiled rotten at home with love but as far as professional medical care... they've never seen the inside of a vet's office. They are both fixed but that's about all. I feel like a bad mother.
Cable. I have cable internet but I would love to have cable tv again. Perhaps even a DVR or Tivo.
DVD. Not DVDs because I can rent pretty much anything. I'd like to buy a nice DVD player that is going to last a while. That way I can use it for a long time & give Jon back his so he can quit having an excuse to talk to me. Even though it was supposed to be a gift. *rolls eyes*
Well I'm about out of time. I feel guilty for thinking about all these material things, but a girl's gotta dream. I plan on working hard so hopefully I can get a few of these things. I'd say the number one things on this list are the vet & I'd really love to get my tattoos.
Love to all.
|
|
| Jellies. |
[06 Jun 2007|11:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Twisted. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"All The Same" - Sick Puppies |
] |
I was on a shopping adventure with my mom & sister today.
We went to Spencer's and I almost got my mom to buy my dad this giant glass that had "PIMP" spelled out on it in diamonds.
Oh how I laugh.
I finally got a job. I work at Target in the store room. I have no idea what it is going to be like. My oldest sister worked the same position I am going into & she said it was pretty sweet. I have orientation Friday @ 2pm. :D Yay.
|
|
|
[06 Jun 2007|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Chickendancing. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's |
] |
List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to. Do if you want.
1. Sick Puppies - "All the Same"
2. John Travolta - "Sandy" [STFU. Grease Soundtrack.]
3. Incubus - "A Certain Shade of Green"
4. MCR - "Heaven Help Us"
5. Mika - "Love Today"
6. Desiree - "Kissing You"
7. *NSYNC - "Bye Bye Bye"
I'm not going to tag anyone because I don't really know anyone. Feel free to do this, though!
I will explain my choices now. They are quite diverse, yes?
1. This song is amazing. It covers all of the relationship mess that has happened these last couple of years.
2. I have had this song in my head for months now. I d/l it & bought the movie today. YAY. I love this song. >.<
3. When do I not enjoy this song? It gets me pumped when I need an energy boost. Or perhaps when I'm pissed, I make sweet, sweet love with this song.
4. I love this song. I really think this is my favorite MCR song. I need to be saved. ... (Not the religious way, Lawl.) *chuckle @ Jesus*
5. OH, what a happy song!!!!
6. Ooooh, I want to caress a body to this song one day hehe. Her voice is husky & gorgeous.
7. I don't know why. My childhood taking over, perhaps? They have a True Hollywood Story. I watched it today. Yes. I'm twelve.
|
|
| LOL. I haven't written on here in ages. |
[05 Jun 2007|01:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Heroheroine - Boys Like Girls |
] |
I made icons and they rock my socks off. I have no fancy photoshop or anything so they are pretty simple. They amuse the shit out of me, though. :)
& um, I only have perhaps one friend that will read this so... Britt... HELLO!
Love you.
I was going to post some of the icons on here... but it's too much work. If people are going to steal my icons, go ahead. They are awesome. I'm not gonna lie. Plus, they are the only ones I've seen posted of RECENT pics of Brandon or any of the guys. Even though, technically, they are not posted. And they probably won't be seeing as I have no idea how. :)
Have a lovely day.
|
|
|
[31 Jan 2006|11:56pm] |
People that put bad information in their live journals about other people just to start drama need to get a life.
P.S. This pertains to absolutely no one on my friends list.
|
|
|
[12 Jan 2006|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thankful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Crossfade |
] |
Okay. So I try to limit my blogging to once a day. I think I'm getting addicted to writing these. But it's just a way for all the people I know to get the scoopity on me without using my shitty expensive prepaid phone. So, I felt the overwhelming need to write a second blog of the day. I hope everyone reads this because there will be a lot of shout outs.
Okay. As you all know, and probably don't care to read about anymore, I'm going through a hard time in the man situation. I don't have a job and I'm being forced to move because I have no financial support anymore. Well, in my time of need more and more people have surprised me in ways I never thought possible. My family and friends are picking up the pieces of my life and helping me get back to the whole Sara.
I'm poor. I don't eat healthy food because it's expensive. Why eat salad at 4 bucks a bag when you have Ramen at 15 cents a pop? So, my sister and brother in law [who are also not financially stable] invited me over for dinner. Sharing their home and food with me. [I'm getting teary eyed.] I have an addiction to cigarettes. Not a good thing at all. But I needed some and they call me out of the blue and ask if I need anything. I say no, of course because I don't want to list all the things that are wrong with me at that moment [I'm sick, I need cigs, I need food and beverages.] my sister asks me if I have cigs and I say no. A couple mins later she shows up at my door with half a carton of cigs for me and says just pay her back when I get back on my feet. And all I say is "Oh my god I love you." I know that they have bills, pets' supplies, medicines, and food to buy for themselves and they took money out of their checks to buy me something. Amazing.
My dad bought me a full tank of gas today and gave me boxes for my packing. Awesome. My dad has high expectations for me, and sometimes thinks his criticism is constructive when ultimately it's just kind of mean...but you'll have that. My dad believes in me and I know all he wants is the best.
My mom is finally at peace with everything. She said she just has a feeling that everything is going to smooth out soon. She has always had faith in me, and if anyone has been there for me 100 percent it's my mom. She is my role model. She has the biggest heart. She has five daughters...and only 2 are hers. [My sister, Andrea, Leanna, Cristy, and me.] She would give any of us the shirt off her back if she could.
Since I am being forced to move out of my house, the original plan was to move in with the parents. This would entail a great amount of work and money to finish out the basement. So, Cristy says I am welcome to stay at her place. I don't know how to ever say thank you for opening up your home to me...but I want you to know that I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. We have known each other for ten years and honestly, you are the best friend I have ever had. Our friendship has been through so much! I just want you to know how grateful I am for what you are doing for me and have done for me for the last ten years. You are such a great person Cristy. And the thing is...you don't realize how beautiful a person are. You are so intelligent. You are determined. LOYAL and HARDWORKING. You are a possitive influence on those around you. I look at you and I get inspired because despite all the shit that is thrown at you...and it's a lot, you remain strong. I know you get down....but everyone does. You may feel average, but Cristy, you are above and beyond average. You have a huge heart and when anyone hurts you, I would like to kill them. Seriously. I'm so protective of you. I just wanted you to know how huge of an impact you have had in my life... You make me feel like I can do something with my life. You have been through a lot of things, and you always give me advice. And we may be the same age...but when I am around you, it may sound corny as hell, but I feel like I'm around someone much older just because you are so wise. I know wise is a weird word for it but I couldn't think of anything else. But anywho...lol..I'm kind of rambling now. I just wanted you to know you mean the world to me. I love you!
Now onto The Mandy Candy. Your heart is as big as my stomach. And I'm serious. Again, I will start to sound corny...but just try not to laugh. You are like my crutch. I know if I stumble...or fall off the wagon, you'll be there to help me up. You have given me so much Mandy, and I may not say it enough but I am very, very grateful to have a friend like you. Like I said with Cristy, you are one of the best friends I have ever had. You are just one of those people that radiate beauty and happiness. [You'll say Pssshhhh but I mean this.] I'm sure anyone can agree, you make them smile. And I know things bother you, but I look up to you because you are strong enough to let it slide. AND when I look at how much you love your little brothers and sisters...it makes me wish I had a sister like you. And then I reallize...you are pretty much my sister. You are just one of those people that will drop everything to do something for one of your friends or family, and never mention it again. You have bought me food and cigarettes and taken me to movies, we've stayed up until 6 in the morning playing with flashlights in my bedroom...and I love that. But the biggest thank you I need to give you...is just being you. You are awesome. And whether or not you think so...I don't even care. I'm telling you....YOU ARE WONDERFUL. I love you so much.
Okay, so that was the mushy shout out, thank you thing I needed to get off my chest. And I just want to say thank you to all my other friends....you all rock too!
|
|
| Drinkies. |
[22 Dec 2005|02:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Fall Out Boy |
] |
| You Are A Blueberry Martini | 
You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often.
You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail.
You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country.
Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party.
Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality.
Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality. |
I've had a pretty bad night/day. And my eyes burn when I close them. Crying makes me feel weak.
Oh yeah. And I don't know why but I love the shape of martini glasses.
|
|
| Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed. |
[16 Dec 2005|08:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tenacious D - Inward Singing |
] |
Yeah. It's almost my birthday. I'm usually not that excited about my birthday. But tomorrow I can turn 21 and that means getting heavily intoxicated and celebrating the day of my birth with my family!! Woo hoo!
I am going out at midnight tonight with my sister and a couple friends. Only little bars will let me in. I don't get it...after midnight it's my birthday. It's the 17. But some of the bars are afraid to let me in because supposedly excise is in town or whatever. Anywho. I'm just going to get one or two drinks tonight. I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow.
I have to make sure I am up at 7:30 @ the latest. I have to go to the evil DMV and they open at 8:30. They wouldn't let me get my new license today. Fuckers. I would have had to take another written test. And I have to get it on the exact date of my birthday or I will have to pay a late fee. Well fuck that, I'm going in tomorrow morning. And then I have to be at my parents house at 9. Then off to Tunica, Mississippi we go! I am so excited. I know there is nothing in Tunica but casinos...but I don't give a shit. My mom said at about 90% of the casinos they let you have all alcohol for free if you gamble. Guess what? I plan on being intoxicated for four days. :D My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, godsister, and best friend are all going too! I don't think I could be more geeked out at the moment.
The fact that I will actually be 21 didn't sink in until about 730 this morning. I woke up and was smiling...and I was all WTF why am I smiling? And then HOLY SHIT! I AM TURNING 21! Woo hoo! My butt hurts.
I broke my tailbone my freshman year of high school. Since then if I sit too long, or in the same position for a while my ass starts to hate me. And I hate it right back. Stupid ass.
I have been listening to Tenacious D all day. Oh how I enjoy the sensual sounds of JB and KG.
Myspace is down and that makes me really, really sad. :( Hopefully they will be back on before I have to leave, if not that would suck so much ass. I will have to stab myspace in the heart with a trident.
That reminds me... "Mmm, I just burned my tongue."
Oh Brick. How you make me laugh.
ASIDHWERERPOINBPEIORNGAWERPOJTWRT. That's how I feel on the inside. I am all over the place. I think I have done 34957834057345 loads of laundry today. I have been on the internet all day, too. Except when I fell asleep lol. See, that's what sucks about being an almost insomniac...you always FINALLY want to sleep when you aren't supposed to. Sleep.
I want to watch Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. I used to watch that movie NO KIDDING every single day in middle school. I know every single word to that movie. I haven't watched it since I lived in the apartment.
Guess that's all. I will be gone from December 17-20. So there will be no posting then. Not that I have any friends on here that read these anyway. I'm pretty much talking to myself here. Okay self...you will be gone for four days. Okay self. Thanks for letting me know!
PS. Everyone is speaking of these "cuts" and I have no idea what they are or how to use them so that's just too bad for everyone huh? No one ever reads or comments me anyway. So pah!
|
|
|
[16 Dec 2005|01:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus - Drive |
] |
I would love nothing more than to be a lawn gnome polisher when I am a mature adult.
That is all.
|
|
|
[14 Dec 2005|05:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Drive - Incubus |
] |
So. Life is life. Not much you can do about it. I just wish there was a way to make it better. I don't understand my life. I wish I did. I wish I felt a purpose for being here. And I wish I had someone to share that purpose with. Sometimes I feel like everyone looks through me. How is it someone can have friends, and still feel alone? Blah, blah blah. "A piece of him will stay...when the rest of him goes."
Men are complicated. I don't understand them. But I don't think I'm supposed to.
I can't sleep. I haven't tried. But I'd rather not. When I do get sleep I feel like I never want to wake up. My stomach starts to hurt after I haven't slept for a long time. It hurts right now.
Well, enough of me communicating my oh so confusing thoughts of the day.
|
|
| You do something to me that I can't explain. So, would I be out of line if I said I miss you? |
[01 Dec 2005|03:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus - I Miss You |
] |
Well I actually feel like I have accomplished something. I signed up for school yesterday. I am taking four classes, two of which are science classes. The advisor reccomended that I only take 3 classes since I have 2 Sciences on my load but I can't do that because I have to have full time status to get any type of aide. I do believe that classes start on January 9. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. My problem is that I don't believe in myself. And that sucks. I guess that means I'm my own worst enemy. I just want to do really good. I want to get straight A's again. I want to sail through school. But the fact is that this is going to be hard. I'm going to be on the internet like 12 hours a day lol. Ivy Tech classes have a crapload of stuff to do on the internet. Last year when I tried to take Anatomy and Physiology the professor suggested study groups as a very good way to learn. And the people that were in my class were such preppy know it all bitches that I was too intimidated to even ask. So, that left me by myself. Cristy would help me study a lot of the time. Which I very much appreciated because Tim doesn't know how to pronounce a lot of words. I haven't decided if I am going to take summer classes or not. I don't think I will be able to with my student loans and all. But it will be nice for a break after my first completed, and I am determined to make it completed, semester of college. I am going to try and build up my self worth. I know I am smart. I can do anything I put my mind to. I know that sounds corny, but it is very true. I just need to get all mad at the people that look down on me lol. Then I will get the energy to strive to be better than they think I am. I will get a great job when I graduate and everything. It will be fantastic!!! Haha. Ivy Tech sends a lot of their students to ECHO [where my mom works] to do their clinicals. That would be hilarious if I did clinicals with my mom! But what better role model? My mom is a really, really good nurse. And if there is anyone I would strive to be it would be my mom. She is so strong. I'm nothing like that. She keeps nudging me towards getting my life together, and so far I haven't budged. Hopefully, this will be a big move towards something great to come. Damn. This is a huge blob of emotional spillage. LOL.
Brittany and I got very intoxicated last night. We watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and played Monopoly. Then we tried our hand at Strip-Who's the Biggest Pervert? HAHAHA. We are so retarded. We both only had like....5 articles of clothing on to begin with. We ended up quitting both games and going to bed. I got sick right after she went to bed. And then I conked out in my bed. I was so out of it that I didn't even hear Tim wake up or leave or anything. And I am a super light sleeper. Must have been pretty darn intoxicated, eh? lol. Oh well! We were celebrating Brittany's uh.....collegiate sabatical. There we go. Nice way to put it. Oh yeah. We went and picked up a bunch of applications for her at the mall. Which is a good thing because she needs a job. She knows why so I'm not going to get into all that here. [Being that she is the only one who reads these things anyway lol.] But anywho. Fun night. Good times. Gala Events.
Saturday...is in two days. That would be the day in which our one and only Dane Cook will host the one and only Saturday Night Live. I think I might have peed down my leg when I read that newsletter. I am so, so, so excited and proud. I have been a huge fan for many, many years. To see him finally getting a huge recognition for being the great comic that he is, makes me feel sooooo good! He is really a good guy. And the fact that he is hilarious just happens to be about a 809384503489 million dollar plus. :D Go Dane! You deserve everything you have accomplished!
So, Incubus is supposedly in the studio, and we will be seeing a new album and possibly film in the year to come. I get all studdery when I think about that ...::::DDDDDDD. That excites me beyond all else. When their new stuff comes out....it will be on like Donkey Kong, that's all I have to say. Although I will be in school, and spending a lot of time in computer labs and away from home, no one can keep the goodness of Incubus away from me!!!! I will shove a CD player in my pants if I have to! I'm so excited!
Well, I guess that's about all for now. I haven't written extensively for a while and I thought it was time. YEah, time to update all one person that reads this on stuff she already knows. Oh, me. [Ryan Reynolds rocks my socks.] Oh oh! Did anyone see the Diary of Ryan Reynolds on MTV? It was so great! Alanis actually says he is well endowed. LMFAO. That's super! Okay, I'm really going now. Bye!
|
|
|
[30 Nov 2005|12:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
shocked |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Brandon's Beer Song - Incubus |
] |
"When it's time to relax, one thing stands clear. Beer after beer. If you've got the time, we've got the beer. Reach out....anytime Jose...reach out and touch someone. Call up and say HI!" I have no idea what posessed him to sing that but Brandon's beer song rocks my socks.
So um. I love how I get on here and myspace and nobody or their mothers comment me. It makes me sad. As do many things.
HOLY SHIT! I almost forgot that I have to sign up for school today. lol. That would have sucked ass! I have to be there at 3! WHEW! I have to go take a shower and shit.
BYE!
|
|
|
[24 Nov 2005|05:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Eiffel 65 - Blue |
] |
Okay I had a nightmare about ten minutes ago and I thought I would write it down before I forget it. It really, really bothered me for some reason.
[WARNING]: I might possibly have the wierdest dreams known to man. I am just warning you, you might laugh or just say "What the fuck?!?!?" with your head tilted to the side. Either way, it may be funny to you, but it seriously terrified me. So, yeah. Here my weird scary dream goes...
It was a group of friends I had in high school. Alex, Beth, Gretchen, and Tabitha. If there were more I can't remember. We were all jogging around this small circle of stone in the woods somewhere. I just remember them running one way, and I was running the opposite. I remember Tabitha finding something gross by our circle in the woods however, what the "something gross" was escapes me.
The next part of the dream I am at a place that sort of reminds me of Burdette Park. Just because there are a lot of buildings, but they are all spread apart. Well, my mom and I walk through the gym and there is some kind of stupid race. There are a group of men racing like...I don't know, cars? across the gym floor. Well my dad comes up to us and informs us that he keeps getting beat by this guy, but not just beat, but this guy is always twice as fast as him. And for some reason, what looked like coffee stains on the floor are what determined who won the race. You think this is fucked up? ...Keep Reading.
The terrifying part...
I was out to dinner with friends and I return home like normal. I walk in the door only to find out my cat Bruce turns into a mass murdering mad man who is immortal. It sounds funny but let me explain. This mad man [my cat] can kill anyone. And to defend themselves, of course they try to hurt him. So he's trying to kill me and we are doing the whole chase-me-around-the-house-with-a-blunt-object routine. I am trying my best to hide and wait things out but I don't want to die. So I am torn between hurting my cat/madman and basically killing myself. He comes after me. I end up breaking his back, his arm, and probably other things. So he goes away. The only sad part is, when he is madman, he cannot die, but he can get hurt. When he turns back into Bruce, he will have sustained the same injuries, however, Bruce can die. I go up to Bruce when he is back in cat mode and he won't even let me pick him up. He has a broken back and arm, and he can't even move. So, this right here is probably two or more of my worst fears in one dream. 1) having a madman mass murderer guy trying to kill you in your own home isn't always a good time and 2) This is Bruce. My baby. One of the two closest things I have to a child and I have to hurt him. [I am in tears right now just thinking about what I would do if either of my babies had something happen to them.] So, yeah. I didn't really have a conclusion to the dream, I think I took him to the vet. Oh yeah, but before that, a can of Lysol busted on him. I picked him up and got stuff on my hand that was yellow and I thought it was pee but I smelled it and it was sickeningly strong Lysol. So that's weird.
I know it seems bizarre and funny. But this seriously terrified me. I mean, I could never hurt Bruce. He is my baby. And this dream made me realize what a dork I am because I care so damn much about my cats.
One good thing that came of it...
When I have nightmares, I will not leave the bed. Even if I have to pee so bad my spleen ruptures, I will not go. You need my other kidney cuz your gonna die if I don't get outta bed? Sorry. I will not go. You slipped and cracked your head open in the shower? sorry, unless it's close to dawn, you're outta luck because I will not go. But I woke up from this dream and had to pee really bad. So I woke Tim up thinking he was gonna be an ass and laugh at me or something...
"Hey Timmy, I know this sounds retarded, but I just had a really bad nightmare, will you walk with me to the bathroom?" I wait in silence for the answer.
"Uh huh." So he gets up, gets a flash light, opens the door, and shines it on every really dark corner just so I can see that nothing is out to get me. He also goes into the bathroom ahead of me just in case the mad man is waiting in there. AND he opened the toilet seat just to make sure there were no demons that were going to rape my rectum. I go, he goes, we go back to the bedroom. We are laying in bed again...
"Honey I don't know if I'm going to sleep at all now..." I say.
He turns on his side and wraps one arm around me, then holds my other hand to his chest. My mind was like...Awwwwwwwwww. Yeah. That was sweet. But I'm still all sad about the dream.
K I love you Bye
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
wearyofeyes421's journal